Monday, July 31, 2006
9:29 PM
Me: "Im harbouring unforgiveness right now.. not supposed to.. but i am.."
I: "Why?! Don't, its unhealthy.."
Me: "I mean, dont you feel the lethargy of releasing mercy and having that taken for granted.. of keep having to brush off insensitve comments which obviously displays absence of brain usage..Hey, here's a suggestion, why dont we explode into fury and engulf them in our wrath..come on i haven't got the chance to direct a movie rated graphic gore and explicit violence.."
I: "huh....we must abstain from inflicting physical pain on others..no no..man move mouth dont move hand.."
Me: "Did i sense a tweak of weakness there? for a moment there our heart felt like cushion.. yes those feather-filled ones"
trust me, im not ok
The blanket of clouds sure proved to be a wet one this morning, late as usual but what proved to be more mood drenching was being called up by the discipline master who knighted me "Sir Late Coming King"
Chairman was being a nice sport by guiding me to the office.. seriously i think he's a nice person and i can emphatise with his plight of being the middle man..Not fun being in those shoes of his, having to deal with the oxygen-less altitudes of expectations from higher authority, while ensuring that the scales of metting out disciplinary action on havockers like me while sustaining a reasonable friendship with the class will not tip.. Other than the unnecessary lashing of tongues you have my salute man..
I have to hold my ground, and turn these negative verbal assaults and brain matter of inferiority into a motivational thruster.. i might not be strong enough, but God you are.. I will shine up there not glimmer and choke out below..i'll prove the world wrong and prove my Lord right!
Here's a reminder to myself: why seek glory in the eyes of man, when you can seek glory in the eyes of God..
I wont care what they think about me..Its my style and i want it that way..
1. Nan Quan Ma Ma and Li Sheng Jie CD = $20
2. *Ahem* = hopefully below $15
3. Ear phones = hopefully below $25
4. Competition Fee = $10
5. Converse Shoes = $89.00
6. Somwhat leather material wallet = hopefully below $40
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Total = $199.00
And for everything else i dont have a Master Card but i have God so i'll pray! Well most of the prices with a "hopefully" has been inflated to ensure i have enough to buy them.
Ok sun's out and i just completed my straineous run.. I managed to slice my timing down by around 10 to 15 seconds making it around 17.48s.. I wont tell you the distance though cause it'll be utterly embarassing..And if you were wondering why all the timings are rough estimates thats because i was running with a clock in my hand.. and yes its a small one not the humongous ones you dangle on walls..
Im going to be draped in stars later, you'll understand if you catch a glimpse of me.. Ok time to pop into those showers before i run late, the cleansing of bondage and massacre of inner demons will begin soon enough
i guessed i've somehow seeped into the shadows.. no one's really talking and everyone seems to be having their secret affair with their books at home..At least i hope it's their books...
Its about time i retarded my pace of life and just pause to look around and analyse my current situation.. to re-commit myself to the trainings i've been missing and assisting my studies in gaining the optimum level of priority it deserves..
Oh went to play lan with Jeff, Phil and his friends just now..i've got GOD-LIKE!! haha ok i know thats super random but i guess God did create people in His image, and we should strive to educate ourselves from Him so we can be more like Him, and that would apply to all areas, including dota..
Ok im hitting my lovely sack soon i really have to shift into training routine, or my fitness will not be able to equal the stringet standards met out for me in the not too distant future..
Well training today kind of sucked, i was so tired i dont know why.. the temperature within me is rising, i can feel the burning sensation throughout my body, its as if my blood has turned to lava.. im praying i wont fall ill i cant afford to the price tag on my health is just too extravagant..
I believe my studying gear has finally latched onto gear number one..Though its at a sluggishly laggy pace, its better than being still and allowing yourself to sink into quicksand..Even if oil prices are escalating, im sure i can get this motor rolling! Speaking of oil SMRT is going to drain more bling bling from the poor common folk by uping their transportation costs.. Cant they just be more symphatetic and stop sucking the people's retirement funds..
Im thankful to Him for the people placed into my life.. Through the constant tidal waves and torrential rains, they were there, as one great umbrella, shielding me from the frosty shards..
Sigh the lactic acid is still stuck in those flabby thighs of mine hope this ache will go away..guess it'll be yet another whacking round bishan park tomorrow..
im breathe a sigh of relief for the iceburg in between us has finally melted thanks to God's loving warmth and your heart-toasting act of forgiveness..Though it was an excrutiating 2 days but im relieved we're still friends!
Cell was great seems like almost eternity since a tear peeped through those eyelids of mine..Oh and thank God becuase i went Jeffrey's house to play until like 11.30 after that and then there was actually still bus and when i needed to change bus it came immediately! To think i was actually harbouring the thought of dipping those filthy fingers into my wallet and causing the two beautiful orange-red notes to be dirty..Oh Well Im home and thats what matters..
i promised myself already, not to be tied down by emotional hurts, yet your actions just leave me in a dilapidated state, and i cant deny im immune to your replies from the north pole..
But no, i will be joyful, i wont fake happiness, but i'll look on the part of life which the sun shines its radiant glow on..Well i've learnt that you could never understand too much about someone, espically those closest to your thumping, blood-pumping machine..
give me a glass and i'll top it to the brim with my tears..Thanks to mum's influence i was addicted to korean drama this afternoon..Not the excessive mushy crap, but a too good to be true storyline really adds some kick and drive your tear glands estatic..Oh and there's this really nice song in the soundtrack which i must get my peeling hands on!
i've been paying a wierdly humongous amount of attention in class these days..obviously by any other people's standard thats child's play but to me i guess its somewhat an achievement..Maybe im using work to distract myself from these turmoils..
oh well i cant be bothered dealing with moods having a swing in the playgrounds of your head.. im going to be a happy boy.... which feel likes bursting into tears because he never knew that that friendship was that fragile..
this one's to spam em' fakers...
Watched Pirates yesterday.. it was good but kind of expected so i guess it wouldnt leave such an outstanding mark as it would if a dog pee-ed on your shoes.. Thanks Mel for teaching me to prove identities realised A maths wasnt always as daunting as it seems!
Oh i also realised that most speakers dont look as toot as they do in flyers.. i thought rev. dr. Che An looked pretty suave(swa-vuu!!) haha i like pronouncing it this way..
listening comprehension wasnt really much.. cha cha-ed my way through other than a might be stumble at question 9..
Ok Brother, it wasnt the hurling of words, the screensaver modes, the poisonous tongues or the strangling feeling of disappointment around all our necks that really impacted me.. seriously these things dont mean crap.. But when i saw the tear peeking out that eyelid, it painted a potrait of agony before me, and i would, to you, apologise..but do amphatise with our plight also..
Guess its time to take out the trash..
The test papers are blank again, the playstation has been mesmerising me, my arms have been number than before due to the constant weight of my head on it during lessons and parcels of words from the dodo birds at the front of the class are like a soothing breeze past my ears..
The brotherhood at the back has been broken due to some conspiracy between the scheming fellows also more commonly known as teachers..
its not THAT bad but there's far less talking and far more snoozing..
seriously, HELP..
Found out outram secondary was actually humongous today, sited on one of the ulu scenic hilltops among the expressway. Much thanks to Afiqah for going with me if not my loss in interpretation of my abstract map drawing and poor social skills would leave me stranded in red lantern city(chinatown) and i would never have got to the school. Pearl's hill secondary,if you were aware of its exsistence, looks like an ideal suicidal point at night, either that or it would be haunted with students who died there from scaling the numerous flights of staircases.. ever seen a school which looks like a HDB flat? that's one..
Cell was good today presence was hair raising, and oh speaking of that i was twirling my leg hairS, haha super fun..well but thoughts of how to ensure punctuality for the following weeks left me in the clutches of anxiety..
Oh well to my two Brothers, someone's got to lose tonight's match, and someone's pocket contains an atomic bomb while the other, a treasure chest, i'm not taking sides, but a draw would be disastrous, pray hard boys!
Oh boy boy was teaching me how to shoot properly even though my shots are still like crap.. oh well like the senior dude with my idolised dream hairdo said, it takes time yup...
oh at 7 eleven the nice lady gave me a free packet of ritz! a heart warming action by a humongous hearted person! oh and i asked the guy can i have a plastic bag(sorry not so high class dont call it carrier) please? and he said no cannot...and me having a plum sized brain(lox dinosaur) with a processor speed of pentium negative 1 only managed to blurt out a "huh"? it took me one whole minute at minimum to realise he was playing with me.. i also got to know Bilan not sure if i spelt his name right..nice guy yup!!
On the train i was thinking about random stuff, like how i would rather give then to lend..think this way when you lend there's wrenching in your heart nagging you about when you're going to get what you lent back..when you give, well thats it! see no worries,hakuna matata! oh and also about how i put my hand on Shan's shoulder when we were sent out for the absence of out minds not bringing TYS and he said "you die already, you're as black as me!!" super funny was his expression..
that pretty well sums up the day, hope tomorrow will be more interesting..
I guess i'll let this feeling creep inside and once i got this cat in the bag i'll lock it up in the corner of my heart and seal it with a password i wont remember..
ok chinese oral turned out better than expected and yes i take chinese.. oh well life seems to be kicking into routine the usual slacking around, knocking out in class and then being sent out of it.. time to start wondering : what about o's??
Im not about to waste my brain cells and harvest more white hair on the above question.. now striking a balance between God, family, friends, polo, school and other miscellaneous activities(namely basketball, lan, music and gym) seems to be the more brain juice sucking task at hand..
so what about holding the weight of the world on your shoulders, dont forget you cant lean too much on any side, or the universe will come slidding off and crashing down, literally out of your hands..
Dont you ever wonder why people would rather get a hunchback than to sanitize their hands of the affairs of this world?? well its easy, thats because they found something that matters more than filth in your face,
more than a slipped disc in your backbone,or having your back modelled after the countless ghouls you killed in dota(go sentinel!), something which you inhale every molecule of oxygen for...
Good for you xiao mei for finding that something, stay happy ok? keep leaning on His strength and you will get through whatever you face!!
my home page was yahoo and i wanted to see the scores for england and portugal and i saw brazil 0 france 1.. couldnt quite believe my eyes there guess many people would have craters in their pockets now..
what a start to a sunday morning..
ok i missed polo yesterday was have an intenal tug- of -war during cell as to whether i should leave early or just stay..i decided to stay on and i cried after that and was being a big baby pms-ing around. guess i now really "live and breathe" for polo and God of course, defintiely not SOMETHING else...
Well i won a pool game against hansheng even though i was so rusty my whole body was brown(no pun intended)..If that were to bring any comfort(actually it did),all of it was demolished by jeff and hansheng melodic wood-bridgical guitar on song performance of which how we 3 are ben xiao hais, yi ge hei, liang ge bai..basically translated its we are 3 stupid kids, 1 black 2 white..
Haix...its good to be black..
once again your world comes crashing down, and here i am rushing to deter the forces of darkness, holding up the world upon my shoulders,
but im not that great, i'll do to my utmost of ability , but i cant ensure that the universe wont come tipping over, spilling over the edges are those that cannot be helped, and the immense presure intesifies at those that can be helped..
It isnt a love of a hero, and thats why i fear it wont do
9:29 PM
Me: "Im harbouring unforgiveness right now.. not supposed to.. but i am.."
I: "Why?! Don't, its unhealthy.."
Me: "I mean, dont you feel the lethargy of releasing mercy and having that taken for granted.. of keep having to brush off insensitve comments which obviously displays absence of brain usage..Hey, here's a suggestion, why dont we explode into fury and engulf them in our wrath..come on i haven't got the chance to direct a movie rated graphic gore and explicit violence.."
I: "huh....we must abstain from inflicting physical pain on others..no no..man move mouth dont move hand.."
Me: "Did i sense a tweak of weakness there? for a moment there our heart felt like cushion.. yes those feather-filled ones"
trust me, im not ok
The blanket of clouds sure proved to be a wet one this morning, late as usual but what proved to be more mood drenching was being called up by the discipline master who knighted me "Sir Late Coming King"
Chairman was being a nice sport by guiding me to the office.. seriously i think he's a nice person and i can emphatise with his plight of being the middle man..Not fun being in those shoes of his, having to deal with the oxygen-less altitudes of expectations from higher authority, while ensuring that the scales of metting out disciplinary action on havockers like me while sustaining a reasonable friendship with the class will not tip.. Other than the unnecessary lashing of tongues you have my salute man..
I have to hold my ground, and turn these negative verbal assaults and brain matter of inferiority into a motivational thruster.. i might not be strong enough, but God you are.. I will shine up there not glimmer and choke out below..i'll prove the world wrong and prove my Lord right!
Here's a reminder to myself: why seek glory in the eyes of man, when you can seek glory in the eyes of God..
I wont care what they think about me..Its my style and i want it that way..
everyday, YOU make me stronger -`
Sunday, July 30, 2006
7:20 AM
1. Nan Quan Ma Ma and Li Sheng Jie CD = $20
2. *Ahem* = hopefully below $15
3. Ear phones = hopefully below $25
4. Competition Fee = $10
5. Converse Shoes = $89.00
6. Somwhat leather material wallet = hopefully below $40
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Total = $199.00
And for everything else i dont have a Master Card but i have God so i'll pray! Well most of the prices with a "hopefully" has been inflated to ensure i have enough to buy them.
Ok sun's out and i just completed my straineous run.. I managed to slice my timing down by around 10 to 15 seconds making it around 17.48s.. I wont tell you the distance though cause it'll be utterly embarassing..And if you were wondering why all the timings are rough estimates thats because i was running with a clock in my hand.. and yes its a small one not the humongous ones you dangle on walls..
Im going to be draped in stars later, you'll understand if you catch a glimpse of me.. Ok time to pop into those showers before i run late, the cleansing of bondage and massacre of inner demons will begin soon enough
everyday, YOU make me stronger -`
Saturday, July 29, 2006
12:36 AM
i guessed i've somehow seeped into the shadows.. no one's really talking and everyone seems to be having their secret affair with their books at home..At least i hope it's their books...
Its about time i retarded my pace of life and just pause to look around and analyse my current situation.. to re-commit myself to the trainings i've been missing and assisting my studies in gaining the optimum level of priority it deserves..
Oh went to play lan with Jeff, Phil and his friends just now..i've got GOD-LIKE!! haha ok i know thats super random but i guess God did create people in His image, and we should strive to educate ourselves from Him so we can be more like Him, and that would apply to all areas, including dota..
Ok im hitting my lovely sack soon i really have to shift into training routine, or my fitness will not be able to equal the stringet standards met out for me in the not too distant future..
everyday, YOU make me stronger -`
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
10:50 PM
Well training today kind of sucked, i was so tired i dont know why.. the temperature within me is rising, i can feel the burning sensation throughout my body, its as if my blood has turned to lava.. im praying i wont fall ill i cant afford to the price tag on my health is just too extravagant..
I believe my studying gear has finally latched onto gear number one..Though its at a sluggishly laggy pace, its better than being still and allowing yourself to sink into quicksand..Even if oil prices are escalating, im sure i can get this motor rolling! Speaking of oil SMRT is going to drain more bling bling from the poor common folk by uping their transportation costs.. Cant they just be more symphatetic and stop sucking the people's retirement funds..
Im thankful to Him for the people placed into my life.. Through the constant tidal waves and torrential rains, they were there, as one great umbrella, shielding me from the frosty shards..
Sigh the lactic acid is still stuck in those flabby thighs of mine hope this ache will go away..guess it'll be yet another whacking round bishan park tomorrow..
everyday, YOU make me stronger -`
Sunday, July 23, 2006
1:17 AM
im breathe a sigh of relief for the iceburg in between us has finally melted thanks to God's loving warmth and your heart-toasting act of forgiveness..Though it was an excrutiating 2 days but im relieved we're still friends!
Cell was great seems like almost eternity since a tear peeped through those eyelids of mine..Oh and thank God becuase i went Jeffrey's house to play until like 11.30 after that and then there was actually still bus and when i needed to change bus it came immediately! To think i was actually harbouring the thought of dipping those filthy fingers into my wallet and causing the two beautiful orange-red notes to be dirty..Oh Well Im home and thats what matters..
everyday, YOU make me stronger -`
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
11:16 PM
i promised myself already, not to be tied down by emotional hurts, yet your actions just leave me in a dilapidated state, and i cant deny im immune to your replies from the north pole..
But no, i will be joyful, i wont fake happiness, but i'll look on the part of life which the sun shines its radiant glow on..Well i've learnt that you could never understand too much about someone, espically those closest to your thumping, blood-pumping machine..
give me a glass and i'll top it to the brim with my tears..Thanks to mum's influence i was addicted to korean drama this afternoon..Not the excessive mushy crap, but a too good to be true storyline really adds some kick and drive your tear glands estatic..Oh and there's this really nice song in the soundtrack which i must get my peeling hands on!
i've been paying a wierdly humongous amount of attention in class these days..obviously by any other people's standard thats child's play but to me i guess its somewhat an achievement..Maybe im using work to distract myself from these turmoils..
oh well i cant be bothered dealing with moods having a swing in the playgrounds of your head.. im going to be a happy boy.... which feel likes bursting into tears because he never knew that that friendship was that fragile..
everyday, YOU make me stronger -`
Monday, July 17, 2006
11:04 PM
this one's to spam em' fakers...
Watched Pirates yesterday.. it was good but kind of expected so i guess it wouldnt leave such an outstanding mark as it would if a dog pee-ed on your shoes.. Thanks Mel for teaching me to prove identities realised A maths wasnt always as daunting as it seems!
Oh i also realised that most speakers dont look as toot as they do in flyers.. i thought rev. dr. Che An looked pretty suave(swa-vuu!!) haha i like pronouncing it this way..
listening comprehension wasnt really much.. cha cha-ed my way through other than a might be stumble at question 9..
Ok Brother, it wasnt the hurling of words, the screensaver modes, the poisonous tongues or the strangling feeling of disappointment around all our necks that really impacted me.. seriously these things dont mean crap.. But when i saw the tear peeking out that eyelid, it painted a potrait of agony before me, and i would, to you, apologise..but do amphatise with our plight also..
Guess its time to take out the trash..
everyday, YOU make me stronger -`
Saturday, July 15, 2006
2:15 AM
The test papers are blank again, the playstation has been mesmerising me, my arms have been number than before due to the constant weight of my head on it during lessons and parcels of words from the dodo birds at the front of the class are like a soothing breeze past my ears..
The brotherhood at the back has been broken due to some conspiracy between the scheming fellows also more commonly known as teachers..
its not THAT bad but there's far less talking and far more snoozing..
seriously, HELP..
everyday, YOU make me stronger -`
Saturday, July 08, 2006
11:10 PM
Found out outram secondary was actually humongous today, sited on one of the ulu scenic hilltops among the expressway. Much thanks to Afiqah for going with me if not my loss in interpretation of my abstract map drawing and poor social skills would leave me stranded in red lantern city(chinatown) and i would never have got to the school. Pearl's hill secondary,if you were aware of its exsistence, looks like an ideal suicidal point at night, either that or it would be haunted with students who died there from scaling the numerous flights of staircases.. ever seen a school which looks like a HDB flat? that's one..
Cell was good today presence was hair raising, and oh speaking of that i was twirling my leg hairS, haha super fun..well but thoughts of how to ensure punctuality for the following weeks left me in the clutches of anxiety..
Oh well to my two Brothers, someone's got to lose tonight's match, and someone's pocket contains an atomic bomb while the other, a treasure chest, i'm not taking sides, but a draw would be disastrous, pray hard boys!
everyday, YOU make me stronger -`
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
10:54 PM
Oh boy boy was teaching me how to shoot properly even though my shots are still like crap.. oh well like the senior dude with my idolised dream hairdo said, it takes time yup...
oh at 7 eleven the nice lady gave me a free packet of ritz! a heart warming action by a humongous hearted person! oh and i asked the guy can i have a plastic bag(sorry not so high class dont call it carrier) please? and he said no cannot...and me having a plum sized brain(lox dinosaur) with a processor speed of pentium negative 1 only managed to blurt out a "huh"? it took me one whole minute at minimum to realise he was playing with me.. i also got to know Bilan not sure if i spelt his name right..nice guy yup!!
On the train i was thinking about random stuff, like how i would rather give then to lend..think this way when you lend there's wrenching in your heart nagging you about when you're going to get what you lent back..when you give, well thats it! see no worries,hakuna matata! oh and also about how i put my hand on Shan's shoulder when we were sent out for the absence of out minds not bringing TYS and he said "you die already, you're as black as me!!" super funny was his expression..
that pretty well sums up the day, hope tomorrow will be more interesting..
everyday, YOU make me stronger -`
Tuesday, July 04, 2006
8:31 PM
I guess i'll let this feeling creep inside and once i got this cat in the bag i'll lock it up in the corner of my heart and seal it with a password i wont remember..
ok chinese oral turned out better than expected and yes i take chinese.. oh well life seems to be kicking into routine the usual slacking around, knocking out in class and then being sent out of it.. time to start wondering : what about o's??
Im not about to waste my brain cells and harvest more white hair on the above question.. now striking a balance between God, family, friends, polo, school and other miscellaneous activities(namely basketball, lan, music and gym) seems to be the more brain juice sucking task at hand..
so what about holding the weight of the world on your shoulders, dont forget you cant lean too much on any side, or the universe will come slidding off and crashing down, literally out of your hands..
Dont you ever wonder why people would rather get a hunchback than to sanitize their hands of the affairs of this world?? well its easy, thats because they found something that matters more than filth in your face,
more than a slipped disc in your backbone,or having your back modelled after the countless ghouls you killed in dota(go sentinel!), something which you inhale every molecule of oxygen for...
Good for you xiao mei for finding that something, stay happy ok? keep leaning on His strength and you will get through whatever you face!!
everyday, YOU make me stronger -`
Sunday, July 02, 2006
7:44 AM
my home page was yahoo and i wanted to see the scores for england and portugal and i saw brazil 0 france 1.. couldnt quite believe my eyes there guess many people would have craters in their pockets now..
what a start to a sunday morning..
ok i missed polo yesterday was have an intenal tug- of -war during cell as to whether i should leave early or just stay..i decided to stay on and i cried after that and was being a big baby pms-ing around. guess i now really "live and breathe" for polo and God of course, defintiely not SOMETHING else...
Well i won a pool game against hansheng even though i was so rusty my whole body was brown(no pun intended)..If that were to bring any comfort(actually it did),all of it was demolished by jeff and hansheng melodic wood-bridgical guitar on song performance of which how we 3 are ben xiao hais, yi ge hei, liang ge bai..basically translated its we are 3 stupid kids, 1 black 2 white..
Haix...its good to be black..
once again your world comes crashing down, and here i am rushing to deter the forces of darkness, holding up the world upon my shoulders,
but im not that great, i'll do to my utmost of ability , but i cant ensure that the universe wont come tipping over, spilling over the edges are those that cannot be helped, and the immense presure intesifies at those that can be helped..
It isnt a love of a hero, and thats why i fear it wont do
everyday, YOU make me stronger -`
Jonas
savouring sixteen
im so not psycho
or ah beng either
HIT-LIST
to cry but not to shed tears
yea that would be fun
dont let fear overcome you
stand and fight, dont run
Speak
you have the right to not remain silent